PCC this past summer meant the absolute world to me. The kids were amazing, the staff was amazing and the summer itself was a lot of fun. I loved PCC '05! This update is a bit late in coming but it is heartfelt and is an exact duplicate of the speech I was given the charge to write and deliver as Proctor Speaker during my final year as a proctor at the program. Please enjoy and feel free to send a copy to students or proctors who might want it. There was some interest in hearing it again or seeing it again after the program was over.
PCC, Dr. Gerhart, Mr. Branagan, Mr. Sullivan, RA’s and staff, I can’t tell you what an honor it is to stand in front of you today and speak on behalf of the most amazing proctor staff it has been my pleasure to be a part of. I will try to do them justice as I speak to you today about choices we make in our lives, here and at home. Every day, everyone of us makes countless choices and everyday these choices impact our lives; in many cases more than we realize. Some are as unimportant as what do I put on my toast: peanut butter or margarine…Some as easy as socks or no socks with you fresh kicks…Some as difficult as what do I say to a summer friend who is leaving me for the school year…And some as significant and influential as do I return to PCC to pick up where my proctor left off or do I get a “real job.” The choice to return to PCC for students and proctors alike is one that is fraught with troubled thoughts, to which many in this room can attest.
Returning students will think back on their first year and wonder whether others will be back, will they remember those students, will they like their new hall, their new floormates, or their classes? What will they do at rec? The second year students in this crowd can tell you how to be or what to do, but they will also tell you that it doesn’t matter what you do, or who’s on your floor or you hall or in your room. What matters more is that you choose to make PCC what it can be; actually make the choice to get out and make PCC what you want it to be, not just what it was for you this summer. You must make the choice to come back and you alone can make the choice to be the difference you wish to see here. PCC is ever changing and it relies on its returning students to help shape it and create new aspects. However, without a conscious choice to be proactive, these changes may never come.
As for students who have left the program and are thinking about coming back as a proctor, they go through quite a bit of worrying themselves. When a proctor is hired for PCC a few thoughts and fears go through their heads like: Will I like the kids? Will the kids like me? Can I keep my energy up for 6 weeks? Can I decorate a hall? and will the kids love it? Will they even like it? Can I become what my proctor was for me!? Am I ready for that responsibility? For proctors who never came to PCC, once they realize how much is involved, their response may lie mostly along the lines of, “what was I thinking?” This choice is complicated by new issues one faces when they leave high school, but these people make a choice to come here and work with you. They choose to travel from across the country and across the ocean to be here in June and work with you and help mold you into the students we see before us today. They choose to endure hard work and little sleep and it seems never to be done. Until today when we can see you all together and look back to see how far you’ve all come. That’s what makes it all worth it.
All the effort and everything that comes with it are all part of the choice we proctors make to come here again. The life of a PCC proctor is not an easy one. These proctors choose to befriend many, many students, learn all about them, help them learn about themselves, and help them grow into the students that they want to be. This may all seem very deep and profound, but when you look back at your summer, you will realize how much of an impact your proctors had on you just by being there. They played that cribbage game with you, taught you 4 square or maybe the Cotton Eye Joe Dance, they brought you around with them on duties to meet students or just to chat, they forced you out of your comfort zone and created an environment where that was ok, or maybe they just sat with you at the end of a long rough day and talked about the day itself, the Red Sox or life. They do all these things for you and you hardly realize how they are helping. Many times they don’t even realize when they’ve made the biggest impact on a student’s life; possibly affecting the choices that student will make in their future. They simply work their magic and help you to get to where we are all now, and then when their work is done they have to do the seemingly impossible…and let go.
I do not consider being a proctor a job nor, I’m positive, does any other proctor in this room, to give so deeply of oneself for the students. It is partially our gift we choose to give to this program. That which has given so much to us and so many others. But more importantly, it is the gift we chose to give to you, our students, our kids, our brothers, sisters and friends. To your proctor and many around you, you are all of these things. You touch our life and we choose to give back by being that guiding hand, that shoulder to cry on, or that voice of reason and support that you might need. Long after PCC has ended and you are living your lives in you home towns and your schools, I can guarantee you that something about this program will help you making it all the more valuable. For instance, at the close of PCC 1996, my proctor pulled me aside when I was crying, saying how much I didn’t want to leave, and he said to me, “PCC only ends if you let it.” Think about this for a minute. Nine years ago he said this little bit of information and now, nine years later, I choose to still live by that little phrase. That one statement has helped me stay with this program and continue to become a friend to more and more staff and students alike. I think about it after every week of every summer and it means the world to me, because it helped me make the right choice for me. He may not even remember saying it, but that is the impact a proctor can have on their student. I’d like to thank Mr. Sullivan now for those words all those years ago. His words made the choice to come back to PCC an easy one. He knew what PCC meant to me then and his words guided me back so that I could help you reach the futures you want.
Your link to PCC doesn’t end when you leave these buildings. We proctors will remember you forever, we will be able to name your entire hall 5 years later when someone points to a picture. We will be able to remember how you couldn’t stay in your room for five minutes at a time in study hour, how you look happier every time a certain type of music came on, how you and your roommate never could manage to stop talking and go to bed. These are the stories that we carry with us. Little stories that mean almost nothing to anyone not in the program, but mean so much to we who have lived with you, laughed with you and now cry with you as we say goodbye. On behalf of everyone in this room that you have touched in some way, PCC class of 2005, we thank you. And wish you luck in all that you do. Thanks.
